Do You Hear What I Hear?

The first time I heard them, my husband and I were laying on our separate long, brown suede couches after a day of decorating our home for Christmas. It sounded like someone had left a TV or Radio on in their room...but we were the only ones home. I got up and checked anyway. Opening each closed bedroom door, I leaned my ear in only to find the sound wasn't coming from inside. I laid back down and asked my husband if he heard it too. He said yes he did. We decided it must be a neighbor with their volume up too high. So I asked him to stick his head out the door and see where that sound was coming from. Turns out it wasn't coming from outside either...

That was three years ago, I think. We concluded that God must be letting us get a taste of the angel choir. That day came and went and I didn't hear that sound again, until just a few months ago that is! I am hearing God and His angels singing everyday now, and it's a beautiful sound indeed!

 I am overwhelmed by the Love God pours out on us everyday! And His grace towards me...overwhelming would be an understatement! His Love is the most beautiful thing my heart has ever seen and my ears have ever heard! I don't understand why everyone doesn't want all the Love God has for them, but that's a different post for another day.

A side note, you might be surprised to learn that God love's and sings ALL types of music, yes, even rock-n-roll! I know...it was a shock to me too! Especially at 4:00 am one morning lol, as God doesn't sleep ya know! A small price to pay for such an extravagant gift as this! I've heard them singing Christmas Carols, even, get this...Frosty the Snowman! They are totally in tune with our ways here on earth! I've also heard our National Anthem being sung, God Loves America, even after all we have done to kick Him out! He and all of heaven is praying for our country! That is most comforting to me after all that's been going on here!

For God so Loved the world He gave His
only begotten Son that whoever believes
in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.
(John 3:16)

I'm learning a lot about the Father's heart through the music he lets me hear each day. God and the angels sing of how He died for you, He Loves you, He wants you, He waits for you to return to Him.  God's Love is fervent, passionate, and so deep it makes me cry. What can I say, I've never known a Love like this before, and let me tell you, He is worth every test and trial we go through on our journey to heaven! There is none like Him, and there is none besides Him! He is everything we need and way so much more!!! Spend some time with Him and let Him Love on you for a while, He Loves to do that, and you will love it too!

In his devotional, "God Calling,"  A.J. Russell writes, "Life Is A Love Story" Oh! it is a glorious way, the upward way, the wonderful discoveries, the tender intimacies, the amazing, almost incomprehensible, understanding. Truly the Christian Life-Life with Me-is a Love story. Leave all to me. All you have missed you will find in me, the Soul's Lover, the Soul's Friend,  Father-Mother-Comrade-Brother. Try Me." I testify from my own life experience, that is a very true statement! Such a wonderful God we have!! 

 Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you ALL, from  the God who loves you deeply, His heavenly host, and myself!!! 

GOD BLESS YOU MY FRIENDS!!!

My Ugly Old Enemy!

Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds...But now He has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from Accusation- Colossians 1:21-22

 "You are beautiful!"

"Jesus, You say the nicest things I've ever heard and always wanted to!" This the beginning of my journal entry just a few days prior. "And today I'm so painfully aware of my complete lack of worthiness to be called Your Queen. I honestly don't know how You can stand the sight of me and yet You tell me everyday that I am beautiful."

After trying on outfit after outfit and seeing in the full length mirror of the dressing room the damage I have once again inflicted on my body through poor food choices and lack of exercise, all those same feelings of shame and disgust in myself all come back and wash over me like a rushing river after a serious rain storm! This enemy of mine has followed me for the last 34 years!

I started out small, weighing only 5 lbs. 2 oz. at birth. But that did not determine the course of my weight for long. The first time it reared it's ugly head, I was just 9 years old. I had moved in with my grandma and grandpa after my dad divorced my first step-mom. Living at grandma's house was such a wonderful change especially come meal time. Where I was once strictly monitored in my diet, even missing meals as punishment, I was now allowed to eat grandma's savory and scrumptious dinners accompanied by her rich moist chocolate cake slathered in homemade chocolate icing that contained just a hint of coffee (her secret ingredient) every night!  Well by the time I moved back in with my dad and new sep-mom 2 years later, I had put on more than a few pounds!   

"Fatty fatty 2x4 can't fit through the bathroom door", my brother would chant mercilessly. But it was when my dad told me I was fat while standing at the fridge one day that cut me to the core. I was 13 by this time and just starting the 8th grade. My dad's acceptance meant everything to me at the time as he was all I had. So I stopped eating. I dropped all excess pounds of fat and was quite thin at which point my step-mom started scolding me for not eating! So what's a girl to do? Well, at the time, I did the only thing I could think of, I ate the one meal I was at home for and snuck outside to throw it up. I know it's gross but I was desperate for my dad's approval, having been rejected by my biological mother, who had run out on us when I was 2.

That is how the cycle of yo-yo syndrome began for me. I have several distant family members, aunts, uncles, cousins, and even my grandma before grandpa passed away, who are morbidly obese. Over the years I have struggled to maintain a healthy weight. I put on 80 lbs. with the pregnancy of my first daughter. I lost all but about 10 lbs. on Weight Watchers. Gained 15 lbs in the next few years then 30 more during pregnancy with my second daughter. Lost that weight through Herbalife pills. And it's been up and down till this day, gaining more weight each time.  If I'm not on a diet, I'm gaining weight!

3 years ago I was on Weight Watchers again for the umpteenth time, I had lost 17 lbs. and finally I was very comfortable with my weight. Then...I got sick...I'm still sick, and I've put on more weight than I want to admit.  I am devastated at the sight in the full length mirror at the store, but more than that, I am truly amazed at the Love of Jesus who tells me everyday that I'm beautiful, that I am His Queen and He is my Bridegroom. He says He chose me even before I was conceived,  I was created for Him and His glory. God's description and feelings for me are so different than my own. So different...I don't understand it, but I do believe it because He doesn't let a day go by without telling me so and remaining faithfully by my side. He tells me He is in my corner fighting for me and setting me high above all of my enemies!! And I believe Him! Yes, I do believe Him!! I can't wait to report to you how He is does that!  That's just a peek into the indescribably beautiful and much more than wonderful heart of God!!

After walking out of the dressing room with my head hung low, I tried to make sense of the whole trip to that store. "Why did God lead me to this place anyway", I asked myself. As I sit on my bed, tears streaming down my face, burning my cheeks, reliving the pain of being overweight time and time again, I realize, I get to share How indescribably good God's Love is! The verse at the top says "we are presented holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation" through the death of Jesus' physical body! What an awesome God!! So no matter what size you are, know this for a fact, you are beautiful in the eyes and mind of the God who created you! You are beautiful!!

I have put my trust in God, and I will rise like the eagles! I will spread my wings and fly, I will fly away like the butterfly with nothing to weigh me down! "To him who the Son sets free is free in deed!" That's the Word of God! Even though I have some ugly battles yet to be won, I wouldn't want to be anybody else in the whole world, not for the whole world, otherwise I wouldn't have this relationship with God! He is worth everything we go through in this life and so much more!!!  I will thank You forever my precious Jesus and Heavenly Father!!

Lost In Love

Picture from Jesus Daily Page On Facebook

He makes me feel beautiful even when I'm at my worst. He sends me flowers every single day; white ones, pinks ones, red ones, and yellow ones too!  Big ones and little ones,  some are fragrant some are not, but they all have one thing in common, they all make me smile.  My Jesus, my very Best Friend in all the world.

He gives me more attention in a day than most people would in a year.  He says the nicest things to me that I've ever heard!  He knows all my secrets and sometimes He tells me His. He lets me know that He is listening to every word I say,  My Jesus, my constant and faithful companion.

I am completely helpless without Him.  My precious Savior has saved me again and again. When I go to the store He is there, when I'm cleaning my bathroom, He is there. When I'm preparing a meal in the kitchen, He is there too. Did you know God is like the best cook in the whole world? There is absolutely nothing He can't do! I Love that about Him!

He makes all things beautiful, including the life of this girl He once found under a rock. "My name is mud" I used to say, I was the scum under the scum. Jesus didn't mind, He said He Loves me anyway, and pulled me out of that mud and the mire. He has made my life so beautiful, because that's what He does. He's just so precious that way!

 He gave me dignity where shame used to haunt me. He forgave ALL my sins and heals ALL my diseases, He asked for no payment in return. "Because I Love you," He said, I have done this for you. It's not because I deserve it, nor could I ever earn it. No God's favor comes to those He chooses. No one is exempt from the Grace of God.

I remember the days of long ago;

I meditate on all your works

and consider what Your hands have done.

~Psalm 143:5

Picture from Jesus Daily on FB

I remember just a little under four years ago when the Lord in all His Love and compassion brought me back to the land of the living. He raised my spirit and soul from the stinking dead ash heap. I am resurrected and made brand new by the Loving hand of my God.

Those earlier days and years were so full of joy and peace and excitement as God communicated with me so clearly how He loved me and forgave me for walking away from Him nearly eight years prior. It felt like everyday was Christmas, but even better! Oh how I had missed my Lord and couldn't even believe I fell away like I did for so long. I understand now that It could happen to anybody! But in all of God's goodness, His forgiveness is also for everyone who wants it!

As I started out my new born-again life, I kept hearing from not only my spiritual Momma, but others as well,  in regards to walking with Jesus, "it only gets better and better"! And it really does! The more time we spend with God the more we get to know Him and He's just wonderful. There are no words really good enough to describe Him, the only way you can really understand His goodness is to get to know Him for yourself. The rewards are incredible! Never before have I known a Love like His.

God's Word says, "delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."  (Psalm 37:4)  So there is a promise with a condition. Here's the thing though, He's so darn delightful, the condition is effortless! God is good like that, He just longs to bless us!

Almost from the beginning of our reunion, my prayer to Jesus was, and still is, "please bless me that I would bless You as much as one person could possibly bless You by the power of the Holy Spirit." See, I know that I'm not capable of anything by myself. I mean seriously, I can't even dress myself without His help. That might sound silly to some but it's the truth. I depend on God for everything!

As I would watch Christian Television and see beautiful worship through song and dance, I would say, "I wish I could sing pretty for You Lord" or, "I wish I could dance like that for You, but I can't, all I know how to do is just love You." That's all I'm capable of... really! So after that confession, God planted a dream seed in me that He can do anything with me and I could still learn to sing and dance.

So to confirm, yes, walking with Jesus does get better and better! But on the other hand, it's not for the faint of heart, because it also get's harder and harder. What I mean by that is there is a condition to being a disciple of Christ, and that is to die to ourselves and pick up our crosses daily. Dying to myself, for me, looks like remaining on this earth with a good attitude and be the hands, feet, heart, and mouthpiece for my beloved Jesus. The truth is, I just don't want to anymore.

I'm  heart sick. In His Word, God says, "hope deferred makes the heart sick." (Proverbs 13:12)  I just want to be in the arms of my Jesus! I don't care if I can dance, or sing, or save the world, I just want to go home. This might sound crazy to some, but it's the truth. This is my struggle for today.

The sacrifices God made to save you and I go on and on...I can't imagine how heart-sick Jesus must have felt while He dwelt among us and longed to be with His Loving Father, and how His Father must have longed to be with His beloved only begotten Son! Thank You God for enduring such difficult sacrifices for the sake of Your children, Your Bride!!

I cant wait to feel the arms of my Jesus wrapped around me in a loving embrace. I can't wait to look into His eyes filled with mercy and grace, and oh how I long to see a smile on His beautiful face! I want to sit at His feet and hear Him tell me stories from long ago,  I want to wrap my arms around Him and never let Him go. ..that is Heaven to me!

A sweet friend and dear sister in Christ of mine passed away recently. We will all miss her sweet presence, and no one can replace her, but I have to say, I am jealous of her. I wouldn't want to be her because the relationship I have with Jesus is far to precious to me, but oh... how very lucky she is to be in the Loving arms of our Creator! We love you and miss you dear Charlotte, and look forward to the day we will meet again!

My Jesus is so beautiful you see, there is no flaw in Him, and there is no one like Him! He has so ravished my heart with His great Love that I will never be the same! There is no one like my Jesus. He is so precious to me!

How He Loves Us!

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast

and have no compassion on the child she has borne?

Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.

~Isaiah 49:1,6,15
  


This verse is dear to my heart not only because my mother left when I was two but also... 


I don't remember much about my dad when I was little because he was away a lot of the time delivering semi- trailer loads of construction materials. He had his own beautiful dark green truck that sparkled so pretty from the new metallic paint on it. It had a sleeping compartment right behind the front seats. That's because my dad's trips were long and far so when he needed to rest he would just pull over and crawl into that bed until he was rested enough to continue the long drives. 


Besides his truck, I do remember that my dad was nice to me when he was around. He was my hero and I loved him so! When I was in kindergarten, a boy from my class called my house twice in one day to talk to me on the phone, te he....my dad didn't like that! He told me to tell that boy to stop calling me and that I couldn't be friends with him anymore. My dad was the only one good enough for his little girl, at the time. So I did just what my dad told me too and I didn't be friends with that little boy anymore. :(  I was a daddy's girl!


That little girl got lost forever in the shuffle of divorce, and moving to another state, and the monster that was rapidly growing inside of my dad everyday. The monster's name...alcoholism. Like I've said in previous posts, "they don't call alcohol "spirits" for nothing! He was and is to this day full of those demons that entered him through the gate of beer and whisky. It makes me sad what they do to him! :( God's going to save him though, it might be my dad's last day on earth but I believe God is going to save him! He's a good God like that I hope you know!!


Kindergarten was my last tender vision of being a daddy's girl. When I was 14 my step-mom made it a point to tell me that my dad didn't even bother to look for me when I ran away and was missing for 3 weeks. A girlfriend and I hitchhiked from Bend, OR to Ontario, CA when I was a brand new freshman in high school. Clearly God was with me cause I'm still alive to tell you about it!! And I will... another time. 


When I was 21, after having a few drinks at a bar with my dad, I mustered up the courage to tell him that his best friend molested/raped me from dark until sunrise one night when I was 13 years old. I guess he didn't believe me even after I reasoned with him, "dad, why would I make up a story like that now," because the next day he told me he was planning to go on a trip to Australia with this guy he called his "best friend"! Shouldn't a father be angry after hearing someone violated their daughter like that, especially when it was their best friend!?! I lived with this in my heart for many years but I have to add that I think my dad believes me now, praise the Lord!


I could go on and on about my relationship with my dad and all the pain he has caused my heart, but I love him and I know he did the best he could to make sure I was taken care of.  I also know that those alcohol demons were using him to try to destroy me. They did a good job, but God's Love has done a better job, and now I know He has such a better plan for me! My heavenly Father is my true eternal Father and He has spent the last 4 years taking me back to all those wounded places in my heart and showing me He was there, He was wounded over the things and people who hurt me too, and He has healed me at every stop. God has taken my shattered heart and made it whole and brand new!


Even though people treat us badly sometimes, that does not mean that God is happy about it, and that is definitely not the way He treats us. It's the easiest thing in the world to blame God for our problems and the evil in the world. How our parents treat us is how we perceive God treats us.  I did that for years! I am a work in progress and I still have insecurities, but what I'm learning about the true nature of God is so wonderful and so refreshing that it's been worth it all! God was so worth waiting for, even though it is He who was really waiting for me to be ready for Him! 

God wants you to know, He Loves you right were you are. He can, I speak from experience, heal all your hurts and give you joy and peace like you've never experienced apart from Him, all you have to do is ask. God's Love is the best thing that's ever happened to me and everyday with Him just gets better and better!!! 


How much more the Love of my eternal Heavenly Father means to me because of my experiences with my dad, and I'm so grateful He left all those places empty in my heart just for Him,  I wouldn't want it any other way! I'm a grateful, grateful child and there is no one else I'd rather be than me, otherwise I wouldn't have this relationship with Him.  I will forever be a Daddy's girl with God as my Father!! :) I'm so rich in the only things that matter!!! 




So big and so beautiful, filled with mercy and grace, wounds so deep for the love of you and of me, so strong and yet so gentle at times you don't even know it's touching you, always ready to help us when we call, always wanting to lift us up when we fall, the beautiful Hand of God.  
~Holy Spirit
~Lori

Dear Heavenly Father, please bless everyone who reads this post with a revelation of Your perfect Love for them and heal all their heart wounds in Jesus precious Name Amen!

I will never be the same because of the Love of God!

One Beautiful Day!

Pioneer Park
The most beautiful park in the world
to me!

I didn't see it coming, I didn't know it was coming, there were no signs or even a hint that it was coming. One day I wake up and can't wait for it to be drink thirty, cause I didn't much like beer then, so I could once again escape myself, my failures, my inadequacies, and my annoyingly constant companion, rejection that followed me everywhere I went for 39 years!  I was hopeless and helpless against my many enemies I thought were me.

I was in too deep now. That alcohol had such a hold on me that I couldn't imagine my life without it and I couldn't stand my life with it! I wanted out, oh yes, I desperately wished I had never fallen into that trap. It happened just like the Bible says, I was given over to my sin and it was hell! It started out fun, like God's Word also says, sin is fun for a time. But once the door to the demonic is opened they will tear you up and tie you down till you can't get free! They don't call alcohol "spirits" for nothing!

That was my condition one day which lasted nearly 8 years!  I pleaded with God to forgive me and intervene. I knew He was the only One who could fix the giant mess I had made of myself, that only got bigger and uglier with each passing day.

 I hear it all the time, "God only helps those who helps themselves". Well I couldn't help myself and if that were a true statement, I would still be an alcoholic to this day or worse, dead! No, God reached down from heaven and pulled me out of the pit of hell, via my now precious friends and street evangelists who had set up an outreach in the park behind my house one day. The sound of heaven drifted into my backyard and drew me to it.

Oh that one day, that beautiful one day my whole life was turned around by the wonderful Grace of God, who in His great mercy came to rescue me again!  I sure didn't deserve it, but God is compassionate and so merciful! As I followed the heavenly sound coming from the park, desperate for a glimpse of hope, with my head hung low in shame, and full of remorse, I had know idea my miracle was waiting for me there.

In one act of kindness and love, the evangelists prayed for me, and in the all powerful Name of Jesus, those demons had to flee! And in nearly 4 years now, they have never returned! All praise and honor and glory to God, I am free!!! All in one day! 


"Praise the Lord, O my soul;  all my inmost being,  praise His holy Name.  Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases; He redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with Love and compassion. He satisfies my desires with good things, so that my youth is renewed like the eagles. The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed. The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in Love. He will not always accuse, nor will He harbor His anger forever; He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heaven's are above the earth, so great is His Love for those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust."  ~Psalm 103:1-14 


God's Love is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and God's Love is the very best part of me! God's Love is so much better than wine, it's the sweetest thing I've ever tasted! These are not hollow words I say, void of meaning, no, my testimony is FULL of truth! God's Love is Heaven to me and there is nobody else I'd rather be than me because I was made for His glory and He makes me so happy!!


If you are waiting on a miracle from God, be encouraged, today could be that one beautiful day for you! 


I would be happy to pray for you if you are in need of a miracle today and would like to share it with me.  

Sweet To The Soul!

As I was drinking my morning cup of mocha infused coffee, with my favorite sweet hazelnut flavored creamer added, and reading my latest unchecked additions to my e-mail in-box this morning, I heard the sweet sound of chirping behind me. It sounded close enough that I could reach out and touch the source of these beautiful morning medley makers. So I turned my head to look out the large window of my living room so I could see what was going on out there.


Birds are one of my favorite sweet delights and the Lord knows it! I like to put food out for them to fill their bellies, and water in the bird-bath so I can watch them dance. I just love it when they do that, it makes me break out in laughter haha... They splash and spray like little sprinklers with such cuteness! 


It's funny that whenever I set out something new for my little feathered friends, they never find it right away. Sometimes it takes weeks! I always know that when they do come, it will be that much more wonderful because I had to wait for them. Like the Lord says in His Word, " a longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul" and is it ever!


It's that way with everything we have to wait for. If we received everything we asked for when we asked for it, the thing would not hold it's value like it does when we have to wait for it. God is perfect, and His timing is perfect no matter what!  So if you are waiting on God for something right now, be encouraged that when it comes it will be much more valuable to you because you had to wait for it.  


Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who built it; unless the Lord guards the city the watchman keeps awake in vain.  Psalms 127:1  


"A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul..." Proverbs 13:19




Can you think of something you were praying for that you had to wait a while before God gave it to you, and do you think you would have been just as grateful for it if you had received it right away?

"To Worship You I Live"

"Praise The Lord Oh My Soul

Praise The Lord!"

Some of my most memorable and wonderful worship experiences have been in the privacy of my own home. Did you know singing unto the Lord isn't just for Sunday mornings? I haven't always known that. The more I get to know the Lord, the more I just can't help myself but to break out in song to Him. Even though I can't carry half a tune half the time, I always say, I just giggle when I miss it, shrug my shoulders, look up, and tell Jesus, "all I know how to do is to love you" and try again. I think He likes it when I do that! :) And since I know my ability or rather inability to sing in tune, I am keenly aware that every single note I get right is a total gift from Him! And I think He likes that too! :)

When I want to get serious all I have to do is plug in my favorite artists name in the Youtube search and up pops all kinds of great worship videos. It's as if I am right there with them, only no one is watching me except God and the angels. I have put up for you a video of one of my favorite new-to-me worship teams, with Steffany Frizzell at Bethel Church in Redding CA.

We are created to worship Him. I didn't always know that either, but that does explain why I love to so much!  In fact I prefer to worship Him in private cause then I'm free to look as silly as I want.  God makes me feel safe and cherished unlike anything I've ever experienced before and that totally sets me free to be me! What an awesome God He is!!!

So if you haven't tried it before, then I urge you to try it now. Worship, sing, and dance for God right where you are. He loves that and I think you will too!  He wants to hear your beautiful voice in tune or out, don't make Him wait till Sunday!

"I will sing to the Lord , for He has been good to me." Psalm 13:6

What is your favorite way to worship God?