Friday, August 10, 2012

Lost In Love


Picture from Jesus Daily Page On Facebook
He makes me feel beautiful even when I'm at my worst. He sends me flowers every single day; white ones, pinks ones, red ones, and yellow ones too!  Big ones and little ones,  some are fragrant some are not, but they all have one thing in common, they all make me smile.  My Jesus, my very Best Friend in all the world.

He gives me more attention in a day than most people would in a year.  He says the nicest things to me that I've ever heard!  He knows all my secrets and sometimes He tells me His. He lets me know that He is listening to every word I say,  My Jesus, my constant and faithful companion.

I am completely helpless without Him My precious Savior has saved me again and again. When I go to the store He is there, when I'm cleaning my bathroom, He is there. When I'm preparing a meal in the kitchen, He is there too. Did you know God is like the best cook in the whole world? There is absolutely nothing He can't do! I Love that about Him!

He makes all things beautiful, including the life of this girl He once found under a rock. "My name is mud" I used to say, I was the scum under the scum. Jesus didn't mind, He said He Loves me anyway, and pulled me out of that mud and the mire. He has made my life so beautiful, because that's what He does. He's just so precious that way!

 He gave me dignity where shame used to haunt me. He forgave ALL my sins and heals ALL my diseases, He asked for no payment in return. "Because I Love you," He said, I have done this for you. It's not because I deserve it, nor could I ever earn it. No God's favor comes to those He chooses. No one is exempt from the Grace of God.


I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what Your hands have done.
~Psalm 143:5
Picture from Jesus Daily on FB

I remember just a little under four years ago when the Lord in all His Love and compassion brought me back to the land of the living. He raised my spirit and soul from the stinking dead ash heap. I am resurrected and made brand new by the Loving hand of my God.

Those earlier days and years were so full of joy and peace and excitement as God communicated with me so clearly how He loved me and forgave me for walking away from Him nearly eight years prior. It felt like everyday was Christmas, but even better! Oh how I had missed my Lord and couldn't even believe I fell away like I did for so long. I understand now that It could happen to anybody! But in all of God's goodness, His forgiveness is also for everyone who wants it!

As I started out my new born-again life, I kept hearing from not only my spiritual Momma, but others as well,  in regards to walking with Jesus, "it only gets better and better"! And it really does! The more time we spend with God the more we get to know Him and He's just wonderful. There are no words really good enough to describe Him, the only way you can really understand His goodness is to get to know Him for yourself. The rewards are incredible! Never before have I known a Love like His.

God's Word says, "delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."  (Psalm 37:4)  So there is a promise with a condition. Here's the thing though, He's so darn delightful, the condition is effortless! God is good like that, He just longs to bless us!

Almost from the beginning of our reunion, my prayer to Jesus was, and still is, "please bless me that I would bless You as much as one person could possibly bless You by the power of the Holy Spirit." See, I know that I'm not capable of anything by myself. I mean seriously, I can't even dress myself without His help. That might sound silly to some but it's the truth. I depend on God for everything!

As I would watch Christian Television and see beautiful worship through song and dance, I would say, "I wish I could sing pretty for You Lord" or, "I wish I could dance like that for You, but I can't, all I know how to do is just love You." That's all I'm capable of... really! So after that confession, God planted a dream seed in me that He can do anything with me and I could still learn to sing and dance.

So to confirm, yes, walking with Jesus does get better and better! But on the other hand, it's not for the faint of heart, because it also get's harder and harder. What I mean by that is there is a condition to being a disciple of Christ, and that is to die to ourselves and pick up our crosses daily. Dying to myself, for me, looks like remaining on this earth with a good attitude and be the hands, feet, heart, and mouthpiece for my beloved Jesus. The truth is, I just don't want to anymore.

I'm  heart sick. In His Word, God says, "hope deferred makes the heart sick.(Proverbs 13:12)  I just want to be in the arms of my Jesus! I don't care if I can dance, or sing, or save the world, I just want to go home. This might sound crazy to some, but it's the truth. This is my struggle for today.

The sacrifices God made to save you and I go on and on...I can't imagine how heart-sick Jesus must have felt while He dwelt among us and longed to be with His Loving Father, and how His Father must have longed to be with His beloved only begotten Son! Thank You God for enduring such difficult sacrifices for the sake of Your children, Your Bride!!

I cant wait to feel the arms of my Jesus wrapped around me in a loving embrace. I can't wait to look into His eyes filled with mercy and grace, and oh how I long to see a smile on His beautiful face! I want to sit at His feet and hear Him tell me stories from long ago,  I want to wrap my arms around Him and never let Him go. ..that is Heaven to me!

A sweet friend and dear sister in Christ of mine passed away recently. We will all miss her sweet presence, and no one can replace her, but I have to say, I am jealous of her. I wouldn't want to be her because the relationship I have with Jesus is far to precious to me, but oh... how very lucky she is to be in the Loving arms of our Creator! We love you and miss you dear Charlotte, and look forward to the day we will meet again!

My Jesus is so beautiful you see, there is no flaw in Him, and there is no one like Him! He has so ravished my heart with His great Love that I will never be the same! There is no one like my Jesus. He is so precious to me!