Tale Of A Teenage Hitchhiker

O GOD, Your chariots are tens of thousands and thousands of thousands! The Lord has come into His sanctuary. Praise be to the Lord, to God my Savior, who daily bears my burdens. My God is a God who saves, from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death.

 (Psalm 68:17, 19-20)

It was a cold dark October night in Central Oregon. I was only fourteen at the time when my 16 year old friend Janet,  who was really more of an acquaintance, invited me to run away to Ontario California with her. Janet had a boyfriend down there that we could stay with. It sounded like a great idea because I couldn't handle getting in trouble at home one more time.

With only $14 between us, we had every intention of hopping a train to get us started on our journey to California, but that darn train was going way to fast! Defeated by plan A, Janet came up with plan B. So we walked to Jake's, the local truck stop, to hitch a ride from one of the truckers.

We had to be sneaky at this point because I had been missing since school was out 3-4 hours earlier. Hiding behind unsuspecting semi-trucks we waited for a driver to return to his cab. "Here comes someone", Janet noticed and approached the the dark haired, middle aged, scruffy truck driver, and asked for a ride. Sure he said, hop on in...so we did...

We were able to get across the border before the truck driver had to go a different direction than we were headed. As morning had come upon us he pulled into a California truck stop and let us out. There we were able to find another ride heading towards our destination.

All in all, we only had to actually stand out on the highway with our thumbs in the air one time.  Ironically we were picked up by a State Trooper. He believed our silly story that we were on our way home but ran out of money for a bus. He was happy to give us a ride. I think my anxiety level had peaked at this point! The rest of the way was smooth sailing as the truck drivers were very kind in taking us where we wanted to go. I know God's Angels were watching over us because "praise the Lord",  we didn't get raped and or murdered!

It was less than 24 hours later, and almost a 1000 miles from home, starving and exhausted, we reached Ontario California. It felt more like Spring than Fall that sunny afternoon. It was like night and day compared to Bend's climate.

It turned out that Janet's boyfriend had a brother,  he was good looking and single, yay me! His name was Steve.  He didn't think much of me at first because I was tattered and worn from the journey. However, once I got some much needed sleep, a shower, and a change of clothes Steve "noticed" me.
I told him I was almost 16 and he believed me!  If I would've told him my real age, he would likely have sent me packing! By the way, he was 23 at the time.

They had a small little house with a small front yard. Inside it was kind of dark, as they kept the blinds closed to keep out the heat.  There were only 2 bedrooms and 1 bath so Steve invited me to sleep with him the second night Janet and I were there. It wasn't long before Steve proposed, not knowing that I was really only 14 years old. Of coarse I said YES! Finally, someone loves me, so I thought...

One week went by, then two...  Janet found a job working at a laundromat.  I stayed home alone during the days while Steve and his brother were also at work.  It would be too risky for me to apply for employment. I had no desire to go back home! The days were long and lonely, I watched soap opera's to pass the time while waiting for everybody to get off work.

One afternoon my fiance's brother came home before Steve and Janet. He brought friends and drugs with him. He called it "Sherman", "Sherm" for short. I'd never heard of it before, although I had tried  alcohol, speed, pot, even acid once, and I smoked cigarettes.

"Here try this", my soon to be brother-in-law said as he passed me the bong, with this foreign to me drug in it. "Take a small hit", he told me. I took a big hit as if it were pot. Big mistake that was! Before I knew it I was being carried to my bed where I lay completely paralyzed from head to toe. I couldn't even open my mouth to speak. For hours I lay there staring at the ceiling unable to move a muscle. If it weren't for the Angels of God helping me, I'm sure I would have died that day so many miles away from home.

By the Grace of God, I did fully recover a couple of days later. He is such a good God! And then another week went by and then it was all over. My fiance and his brother got in a big fight that ended in gun fire. Steve's brother was so mad that he told the police his brother was harboring a runaway. They came and took me away that day. I spent the night in a juvenile detention facility, and to my horror, they put me on a flight back to Oregon the next morning. I didn't want to go...

I told the man sitting next to me on the airplane what my story was and he told me, "you will look back at this and laugh one day." I never saw it as funny, but I do see the mighty Hand of God on my life even then when I was just a lost little teenager.

I will thank Him forever for His incredible Grace and Mercy!!! All things are possible with God. I was one of 2 teenage girls hitchhiking hundreds of miles away kept safe by Him even while the devil was trying to kill me!!

It's 30 years later and that wild child has long since grown up. Today I'm extremely rich in blessings, as I have 3 adult children.  My oldest son and daughter- in- law are due to have a baby boy in June,  our first grandchild! My oldest daughter is a college graduate and getting married in August. My youngest daughter is a 3rd year college student and she's going on her 3rd missions trip, it will be her 2nd time to Haiti this May! I have a wonderful husband who is also following the Lord and takes great care of our family! God is SO GREAT in our lives!!

Thank You Precious Lord for being so GOOD!!!

Do you have a time in your history that you can see God's helping hand when you didn't realize it was there at the time?

Loyalty

Happy March everyone! Spring is right around the corner bringing new life in new places as well as old! More daylight and warmer temperatures. I would just like to say, "Thank You Lord!"

Today I received a comment on a post I wrote in January of last year,  "Does God Need Encouragement".   readywriteruk says,  "When you are loyal to someone you encourage them." I find it so amazing that God always brings a Word to help us when we need one!

Before I had even stepped out of my bed this morning, I was being accused. "You don't think about Me (God) enough, you don't really know Me (Him)..." Over and over...on and on, like a masquito buzzing around my head looking for a place to land so he could start sucking the life out of me!

I have lots of experience with the accuser of the brethren, the father of all lies, that devil! I should know full well his schemes to take my heart away from the One that I love! But the thing is, I am still vulnerable to the lies and accusations of the enemy! Part of my human condition I think.

Shortly after this attack on my faith this morning, God brought me the comment from readywriteruk about loyalty. As I pondered over this word, God revealed that part of being loyal to Him means remembering and believing that He is loyal to me... all the time! He says over and over in His Word that He will never leave us nor forsake us. And also so important to remember that He pulls us along with "chords of Love and kindness", not guilt and shame!  "God is Love" and He's a GOOD God!

In his, I highly recommend,  devotional, "Fret Busters, 30 Reasons Not to Fear or Worry",  Roy Lessin points out,  "God won't say or do anything for the purpose of frustrating you, making you anxious, causing you to panic, or filling you with fear. "

"You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You . Trust in the Lord forever, for in Yah (Him), the Lord is everlasting strength."  Isaiah 26:3-4.

God is Love and His Word says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."  (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).  In our efforts to be loyal to God, lets trust Him and not let go of the belief that He is loyal to us!

Deception Among The Voices From Heaven Continued

I heard a song from heaven one day, it sounded just like all the other voices I've heard.

This song was about a baby coming for me, a baby girl is coming for me, only girls for me. It's physically out of the question for God to be referring to me and my husband conceiving anymore children. No, He had to be talking about my grandchild that is on the way. My step-son and daughter-in-law are expecting their first child. I was 99.9%  sure that this baby was going to be a girl because of the song I heard. Praise the Lord I didn't tell anyone about this... ha ha... like I'm telling you now!

Last Thursday was the ultrasound appointment that was going to confirm what "the Lord" had told me through song, "it's a girl"! The kids were happy to let me come with them to this very special appointment. Baby looks healthy, we see that all parts are developing properly. Then the technician points the camera between the legs of my "granddaughter", and to my shock she has developed boy parts!!!  She takes a picture and types, "It's a boy", clear as crystal, it's a boy!! Huh....???

When I first heard the "prophetic song" a baby girl was coming for me, I didn't even think to question the source. Why you ask?  Because the voice sounded exactly the same as the audible singing voice of the Lord! I just let my heart get stomped on and I didn't even see it coming. This has happened again and again.

I'm finally understanding what the verse means to "test and prove what is that good pleasing and perfect will of God." Romans 12:2 Ask questions!  Don't assume that because it sounds like God, it is God! If you come to a situation in your life where you feel God has lied to you, you can be 100% assured that He was set up by the deceiver! Yep, God gets framed all the time! We need to be aware!  God will never do anything to make you look or feel stupid! "Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame."  Psalm 34:5  God will never betray you!

God's Word tells us, "The devil masquerades as an angel of light." 2 Corinthians 11:14  It's true! It's been a long hard lesson to learn, but I am learning to seek the Lord for answers concerning anything I think I have received as revelation from Him. Be wise, ask questions, seek proof, and keep my eyes on Jesus as His grace will allow me to, and always always always trust that in all things, God is GOOD!

We must keep our eyes on Jesus!

Have you ever felt betrayed by God? 

Deception Among The Voices From Heaven

"My sheep hear my voice
and I know them
and they follow me"
John 10:27

In my last post I revealed that I hear the Lord and His angles singing over me. I know it sounds crazy to some, maybe it's too hard to believe for others, but that's okay because this blog is for the King of Glory, and it is only meant to glorify Him and not me.

In light of the goal to bring glory to God, I want to reveal that although the singing I wrote about in my previous post, started out with such songs as; the United States National Anthem, Silent Night, Happy Birthday To You (me), and even Frosty The Snowman... ha ha, the music from heaven has become much more personal and prophetic. I am hearing the angels less and the Lord more. There are also times when He let's me join in and the songs become interactive, as the Lord sings back to me what I just sang to Him in my spirit.

My mind explodes with wonder over God's measureless Power, Knowledge, and Love!  Not to mention how great that He goes to such lengths to show His desire to have a personal relationship with His children!

Do I think the Lord sings for me and over me because I'm more special than anyone else, or because I know more Bible verses than some, or because He likes the way I pray better than someone else? Absolutely not! I do not lay claim to any of these. The reason I can hear this sound from heaven is simply because I was created to. That's it, there is no big secret to why God does one thing for one of His children and not the other. What we receive from His is exactly what we were created to receive from Him.

God says in His Word, "I will rejoice over you with singing".  (Zephaniah 3:17 ) That's right, God sings over ALL His children. He is so incredibly more wonderful and Loving than any earthly parent ever created by Him. If you are a child of God, I want you to know that He is singing over you right now. He never stops! He is precious and His music is so beautiful, I can't wait for you to hear it for yourself, it will overwhelm you, He will overwhelm you with His amazing Love!

At this point you might be wondering, "okay so what about the deception in the title of this post?"  I will tell you, it's true, there is a deceiver out there and he is very real! It's so important we get to know the Heart and Mind of God through the study of His Word. He IS His Word! (John 1)

The deceiver comes to try and take away our trust in God. I have had to learn this the hard way...through experience and it has been gut wrenching at times! We can't believe everything we hear! "We have to test and prove what is that good pleasing and perfect will of God"  (Romans 12:2b). 

It's taken me quite a bit of time to learn this, but just when I think I know God's Character, the deceiver comes and takes away my confidence! And faithfully in His grace and mercy God restores me every single time! He's good like that! I promise you, He is absolutely worth every single test and trial I've gone through! 

I heard a song from heaven one day, it sounded just like all the other voices I've heard.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Do You Hear What I Hear?

The first time I heard them, my husband and I were laying on our separate long, brown suede couches after a day of decorating our home for Christmas. It sounded like someone had left a TV or Radio on in their room...but we were the only ones home. I got up and checked anyway. Opening each closed bedroom door, I leaned my ear in only to find the sound wasn't coming from inside. I laid back down and asked my husband if he heard it too. He said yes he did. We decided it must be a neighbor with their volume up too high. So I asked him to stick his head out the door and see where that sound was coming from. Turns out it wasn't coming from outside either...

That was three years ago, I think. We concluded that God must be letting us get a taste of the angel choir. That day came and went and I didn't hear that sound again, until just a few months ago that is! I am hearing God and His angels singing everyday now, and it's a beautiful sound indeed!

 I am overwhelmed by the Love God pours out on us everyday! And His grace towards me...overwhelming would be an understatement! His Love is the most beautiful thing my heart has ever seen and my ears have ever heard! I don't understand why everyone doesn't want all the Love God has for them, but that's a different post for another day.

A side note, you might be surprised to learn that God love's and sings ALL types of music, yes, even rock-n-roll! I know...it was a shock to me too! Especially at 4:00 am one morning lol, as God doesn't sleep ya know! A small price to pay for such an extravagant gift as this! I've heard them singing Christmas Carols, even, get this...Frosty the Snowman! They are totally in tune with our ways here on earth! I've also heard our National Anthem being sung, God Loves America, even after all we have done to kick Him out! He and all of heaven is praying for our country! That is most comforting to me after all that's been going on here!

For God so Loved the world He gave His
only begotten Son that whoever believes
in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.
(John 3:16)

I'm learning a lot about the Father's heart through the music he lets me hear each day. God and the angels sing of how He died for you, He Loves you, He wants you, He waits for you to return to Him.  God's Love is fervent, passionate, and so deep it makes me cry. What can I say, I've never known a Love like this before, and let me tell you, He is worth every test and trial we go through on our journey to heaven! There is none like Him, and there is none besides Him! He is everything we need and way so much more!!! Spend some time with Him and let Him Love on you for a while, He Loves to do that, and you will love it too!

In his devotional, "God Calling,"  A.J. Russell writes, "Life Is A Love Story" Oh! it is a glorious way, the upward way, the wonderful discoveries, the tender intimacies, the amazing, almost incomprehensible, understanding. Truly the Christian Life-Life with Me-is a Love story. Leave all to me. All you have missed you will find in me, the Soul's Lover, the Soul's Friend,  Father-Mother-Comrade-Brother. Try Me." I testify from my own life experience, that is a very true statement! Such a wonderful God we have!! 

 Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you ALL, from  the God who loves you deeply, His heavenly host, and myself!!! 

GOD BLESS YOU MY FRIENDS!!!

My Ugly Old Enemy!

Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds...But now He has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from Accusation- Colossians 1:21-22

 "You are beautiful!"

"Jesus, You say the nicest things I've ever heard and always wanted to!" This the beginning of my journal entry just a few days prior. "And today I'm so painfully aware of my complete lack of worthiness to be called Your Queen. I honestly don't know how You can stand the sight of me and yet You tell me everyday that I am beautiful."

After trying on outfit after outfit and seeing in the full length mirror of the dressing room the damage I have once again inflicted on my body through poor food choices and lack of exercise, all those same feelings of shame and disgust in myself all come back and wash over me like a rushing river after a serious rain storm! This enemy of mine has followed me for the last 34 years!

I started out small, weighing only 5 lbs. 2 oz. at birth. But that did not determine the course of my weight for long. The first time it reared it's ugly head, I was just 9 years old. I had moved in with my grandma and grandpa after my dad divorced my first step-mom. Living at grandma's house was such a wonderful change especially come meal time. Where I was once strictly monitored in my diet, even missing meals as punishment, I was now allowed to eat grandma's savory and scrumptious dinners accompanied by her rich moist chocolate cake slathered in homemade chocolate icing that contained just a hint of coffee (her secret ingredient) every night!  Well by the time I moved back in with my dad and new sep-mom 2 years later, I had put on more than a few pounds!   

"Fatty fatty 2x4 can't fit through the bathroom door", my brother would chant mercilessly. But it was when my dad told me I was fat while standing at the fridge one day that cut me to the core. I was 13 by this time and just starting the 8th grade. My dad's acceptance meant everything to me at the time as he was all I had. So I stopped eating. I dropped all excess pounds of fat and was quite thin at which point my step-mom started scolding me for not eating! So what's a girl to do? Well, at the time, I did the only thing I could think of, I ate the one meal I was at home for and snuck outside to throw it up. I know it's gross but I was desperate for my dad's approval, having been rejected by my biological mother, who had run out on us when I was 2.

That is how the cycle of yo-yo syndrome began for me. I have several distant family members, aunts, uncles, cousins, and even my grandma before grandpa passed away, who are morbidly obese. Over the years I have struggled to maintain a healthy weight. I put on 80 lbs. with the pregnancy of my first daughter. I lost all but about 10 lbs. on Weight Watchers. Gained 15 lbs in the next few years then 30 more during pregnancy with my second daughter. Lost that weight through Herbalife pills. And it's been up and down till this day, gaining more weight each time.  If I'm not on a diet, I'm gaining weight!

3 years ago I was on Weight Watchers again for the umpteenth time, I had lost 17 lbs. and finally I was very comfortable with my weight. Then...I got sick...I'm still sick, and I've put on more weight than I want to admit.  I am devastated at the sight in the full length mirror at the store, but more than that, I am truly amazed at the Love of Jesus who tells me everyday that I'm beautiful, that I am His Queen and He is my Bridegroom. He says He chose me even before I was conceived,  I was created for Him and His glory. God's description and feelings for me are so different than my own. So different...I don't understand it, but I do believe it because He doesn't let a day go by without telling me so and remaining faithfully by my side. He tells me He is in my corner fighting for me and setting me high above all of my enemies!! And I believe Him! Yes, I do believe Him!! I can't wait to report to you how He is does that!  That's just a peek into the indescribably beautiful and much more than wonderful heart of God!!

After walking out of the dressing room with my head hung low, I tried to make sense of the whole trip to that store. "Why did God lead me to this place anyway", I asked myself. As I sit on my bed, tears streaming down my face, burning my cheeks, reliving the pain of being overweight time and time again, I realize, I get to share How indescribably good God's Love is! The verse at the top says "we are presented holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation" through the death of Jesus' physical body! What an awesome God!! So no matter what size you are, know this for a fact, you are beautiful in the eyes and mind of the God who created you! You are beautiful!!

I have put my trust in God, and I will rise like the eagles! I will spread my wings and fly, I will fly away like the butterfly with nothing to weigh me down! "To him who the Son sets free is free in deed!" That's the Word of God! Even though I have some ugly battles yet to be won, I wouldn't want to be anybody else in the whole world, not for the whole world, otherwise I wouldn't have this relationship with God! He is worth everything we go through in this life and so much more!!!  I will thank You forever my precious Jesus and Heavenly Father!!

Lost In Love

Picture from Jesus Daily Page On Facebook

He makes me feel beautiful even when I'm at my worst. He sends me flowers every single day; white ones, pinks ones, red ones, and yellow ones too!  Big ones and little ones,  some are fragrant some are not, but they all have one thing in common, they all make me smile.  My Jesus, my very Best Friend in all the world.

He gives me more attention in a day than most people would in a year.  He says the nicest things to me that I've ever heard!  He knows all my secrets and sometimes He tells me His. He lets me know that He is listening to every word I say,  My Jesus, my constant and faithful companion.

I am completely helpless without Him.  My precious Savior has saved me again and again. When I go to the store He is there, when I'm cleaning my bathroom, He is there. When I'm preparing a meal in the kitchen, He is there too. Did you know God is like the best cook in the whole world? There is absolutely nothing He can't do! I Love that about Him!

He makes all things beautiful, including the life of this girl He once found under a rock. "My name is mud" I used to say, I was the scum under the scum. Jesus didn't mind, He said He Loves me anyway, and pulled me out of that mud and the mire. He has made my life so beautiful, because that's what He does. He's just so precious that way!

 He gave me dignity where shame used to haunt me. He forgave ALL my sins and heals ALL my diseases, He asked for no payment in return. "Because I Love you," He said, I have done this for you. It's not because I deserve it, nor could I ever earn it. No God's favor comes to those He chooses. No one is exempt from the Grace of God.

I remember the days of long ago;

I meditate on all your works

and consider what Your hands have done.

~Psalm 143:5

Picture from Jesus Daily on FB

I remember just a little under four years ago when the Lord in all His Love and compassion brought me back to the land of the living. He raised my spirit and soul from the stinking dead ash heap. I am resurrected and made brand new by the Loving hand of my God.

Those earlier days and years were so full of joy and peace and excitement as God communicated with me so clearly how He loved me and forgave me for walking away from Him nearly eight years prior. It felt like everyday was Christmas, but even better! Oh how I had missed my Lord and couldn't even believe I fell away like I did for so long. I understand now that It could happen to anybody! But in all of God's goodness, His forgiveness is also for everyone who wants it!

As I started out my new born-again life, I kept hearing from not only my spiritual Momma, but others as well,  in regards to walking with Jesus, "it only gets better and better"! And it really does! The more time we spend with God the more we get to know Him and He's just wonderful. There are no words really good enough to describe Him, the only way you can really understand His goodness is to get to know Him for yourself. The rewards are incredible! Never before have I known a Love like His.

God's Word says, "delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."  (Psalm 37:4)  So there is a promise with a condition. Here's the thing though, He's so darn delightful, the condition is effortless! God is good like that, He just longs to bless us!

Almost from the beginning of our reunion, my prayer to Jesus was, and still is, "please bless me that I would bless You as much as one person could possibly bless You by the power of the Holy Spirit." See, I know that I'm not capable of anything by myself. I mean seriously, I can't even dress myself without His help. That might sound silly to some but it's the truth. I depend on God for everything!

As I would watch Christian Television and see beautiful worship through song and dance, I would say, "I wish I could sing pretty for You Lord" or, "I wish I could dance like that for You, but I can't, all I know how to do is just love You." That's all I'm capable of... really! So after that confession, God planted a dream seed in me that He can do anything with me and I could still learn to sing and dance.

So to confirm, yes, walking with Jesus does get better and better! But on the other hand, it's not for the faint of heart, because it also get's harder and harder. What I mean by that is there is a condition to being a disciple of Christ, and that is to die to ourselves and pick up our crosses daily. Dying to myself, for me, looks like remaining on this earth with a good attitude and be the hands, feet, heart, and mouthpiece for my beloved Jesus. The truth is, I just don't want to anymore.

I'm  heart sick. In His Word, God says, "hope deferred makes the heart sick." (Proverbs 13:12)  I just want to be in the arms of my Jesus! I don't care if I can dance, or sing, or save the world, I just want to go home. This might sound crazy to some, but it's the truth. This is my struggle for today.

The sacrifices God made to save you and I go on and on...I can't imagine how heart-sick Jesus must have felt while He dwelt among us and longed to be with His Loving Father, and how His Father must have longed to be with His beloved only begotten Son! Thank You God for enduring such difficult sacrifices for the sake of Your children, Your Bride!!

I cant wait to feel the arms of my Jesus wrapped around me in a loving embrace. I can't wait to look into His eyes filled with mercy and grace, and oh how I long to see a smile on His beautiful face! I want to sit at His feet and hear Him tell me stories from long ago,  I want to wrap my arms around Him and never let Him go. ..that is Heaven to me!

A sweet friend and dear sister in Christ of mine passed away recently. We will all miss her sweet presence, and no one can replace her, but I have to say, I am jealous of her. I wouldn't want to be her because the relationship I have with Jesus is far to precious to me, but oh... how very lucky she is to be in the Loving arms of our Creator! We love you and miss you dear Charlotte, and look forward to the day we will meet again!

My Jesus is so beautiful you see, there is no flaw in Him, and there is no one like Him! He has so ravished my heart with His great Love that I will never be the same! There is no one like my Jesus. He is so precious to me!